Spending time with the kids while Terry is in the US

I haven’t written in the blog for a while. I have been spending time with the kids at the orphanage asking them questions and getting to know them. When I am not with the kids, I have been enjoying some good ole R & R, reading and studying the bible (something I love to do and don’t get enough time at home to do). On 6/17 I officially asked Keyril to be our son. On 6/18 Victor and I took both kids to get passport pictures, which Victor did not like because they “looked like photocopies”, and not good passport pictures. While we waited for the passport pictures Victor, Alina and Matthew got their hair cut. Alina got her hair dyed blonde. Her roots were brownish. I am still wondering what her natural hair color is and is it so bad. I think Victor left for Kiev that night because Lisa and Dan Dipiazzio were coming to Ukraine to get Dima. On 6/19 toward the end of my visit, I saw Keyril (Matthew) and a lady with long blondish hair walking out of the orphanage grounds toward the market place. Alina yelled for him, but he couldn’t hear or was ignoring her. Marina and I and (I am sure) Alina were wondering who this lady was. I asked if she was a teacher or worker at the orphanage and Marina said she didn’t think so. On 6/20 I came to the orphanage to take Alina and Matthew to lunch. It was then that Alina told me that Matthew had told her he had been crying all night and did not sleep. Apparently he had told his mother who had come to see him (out of the blue?) that he was being adopted. She got angry and stomped off and left the orphanage. He thought his mother would not allow him to leave and be adopted. I understood that the grandma was more active in his life, but wanted him adopted because she had many children of her own to include a 15 year old and could not take care of Keyril (I think Keyril told me this). I didn’t know what to say or do so Marina, Alina and Matthew went to lunch at an Armenian restaurant. It was nice it had a pond with fish and grass with a big fish tank inside. It was the nicest restaurant I have been to so far. After we ate at the restaurant I knew I needed to talk to Keyril. So I told Vladimir the cab driver to please wait, I had to go talk to my son. I found him in a classroom and asked if we could have some privacy. There were several other boys in the classroom. I told him I cared about him and did not know he was sad. I let him know that I wanted to be his mom every day and I gave him my phone number. Even though I could not speak Russian and he could not speak English, on top of him not having a phone, I wanted him to know I really wanted to be there for him. I told him if we were at home and he was sad or crying he could come find me and knock on my door and I would be there for him. I cared about him and wanted him to be happy regardless if that was in Ukraine or the United States. I told him he had a difficult decision to make and that I would support him. Marina told him that his mother did not have parental rights and could not keep him from going to America. Alina said “So are you coming to America or not”? As if the answer was obvious. From that time on Matthew seemed to be okay and expressed his desire to come with me to America. Woo Hoo!!! From 6/21 to 6/23 there is not much to tell. I continued to visit the kids at the orphanage. Before the kids went to Berdyansk on 6/24 I talked to Ekaterina about Matthew and his mother’s visit. She told me she would talk to him about his options. I don’t mean to be so flat about it, but it would be stay in the orphanage and maybe mom would visit (2-3 visits in the past 2-3 years) or go with the Steens. I realized this might be his one shot at a real family!! Maybe he knows that too although he is young. In the past week, I did find out that Matthew has never seen Terry. Not even when we came to the orphanage the first time to see Alina. I also found out that Matthew cuts his own toenails and likes to take a bath every day, but only takes a bath every other day. Alina likes this apple soda and is hungry all the time. I think she is in full-blown puberty. She did not have breasts last year from what Terry told me and from the pictures from last year. Matthew and Alina left the orphanage very early on 6/24 to go to Berdyansk. I stayed in Zaporizhia while Victor wrapped up the inspector meeting, the meeting with Ekaterina and paperwork with the DiPiazzios’ family for Dima’s adoption on 6/24 and 6/25. We left on 6/26 and I got to see my kids at the camp. We splashed around at the beach and ate. On the way back to camp from the beach we stopped and got ice cream. Alina beat everyone up to the top of the hill so Victor gave her 10 grivna so she bought a sandwich (she is always so hungry). We where walking and Keyril had toys in his chip bag. There was a gun with 2 suction cup arrows with it. Alina, Keyril, Dan and Victor were running around shooting each other with it. While watching the kids play soccer and playing with stickers, I had Victor tell Keyril his name will be Matthew James in the United States. He said, “Yes” and smiled and nodded so I am guessing he likes his new name and everything is okay with that. Victor told me to just pick a name for him because he is so young instead of asking him like we did for Alina (Elizabeth). We were there for about 2 hours. I saw Vitalik Suchkov again and think about how he could have been my son because he is an only child and is available for adoption. I felt kind of bad for him and would like to see him adopted. Alina ate 2 bananas, chips, 2 granola bars, apple soda and I don’t know what else. Like I said she is always hungry right now. It is 6/28 and Terry arrived in Kiev yesterday. He took the train to Zap and is now on a bus to Berdyansk. We have been blessed to be staying at the church Fran and the Scweikerts stayed at here in Berdyansk. It is far away from the beach, markets and camp, but is only $10 a night. Where can you find a place like that anywhere? God is blessing us. Victor bought a router so we can have WiFi here in the apartment and the Dipiazzios and us (Steens) will pay half and donate the router to the church.

Terry’s return a.k.a. “I’m baaaaack!”.

It’s been what feels like a month since I left. It was extremely hard for me to go. My heart said “yes... we’re on our way”, but, it also said “this aint over yet, and you might not see Alina again still”. Don’t get me wrong, this is still a faith walk and I do trust in God that He brought me here, but, just because He brought me here does not mean that His plan was for THIS adoption. It very well could be a pure character building experience, or a test of my faith in Him to build me up in a trial. In either case, I am certain that what bothered me and made me so fearful is that I know that this is His, and not mine. What happens here will be because Jennifer and I do things like file papers, etc… but, the actual events will be 100% the result of God’s will. We can file papers, like up boys for weeks to evaluate and petition time and time again… but if my Lord is not on board, I have accepted that it will not happen, and that’s what I want most of all. To experience only what He desires for me, my wife, my family as it is, and my family as it will become. You see, we are not so much adopting as giving ourselves to children that God has already adopted for Himself. How dare we assume that we should just take from Him that which we desire for ourselves? No. Instead, we are asking the Lord who we may serve in His place, in flesh, that He would be real to them in the physical. These are not our children, but His, and while we will receive a huge blessing… our real purpose is to serve Him. May it be so.

Anyway, there has been a fairly rough fight going on since the last time I wrote something. Since we only see the physical realm and tent to respond to it more than we do the spiritual realm, that’s where the devil likes to abide. When I left, all was well, moving along nicely, and we had tons of good wishes and support. We had a referral for a second child and Jennifer was on her way to see him and seek to know if we should be his parents. I was on my way back to attend the graduation of our oldest, Jessica, to work, and to prepare the home a bit more for the arrival of our new ones.

Once out of the country, things seemed to go well. My father was in from Missouri with his wife for the graduation, Jennifer was meeting the child we had a referral for, and it seems to have been continuing as it was before, but something was happening behind the scenes on both fronts. For Jennifer, she was about to be ambushed politically, emotionally, financially, and environmentally.

The local authorities, the chief and deputies of the region need to bless the adoption. The deputy had already, but not the chief. Instead of blessing it, he chose to call Jennifer in for questioning. Not just questioning, but he insulted our relationship and cast horrific accusations at her concerning us and our motives. This is more impactful since she is alone and does not have her hubby to jump in and help. She is having issues with the kids not being interested in spending time in games, bonding, learning English, or anything of such for long, but they have become accustom to being treated by visiting Americans and so it’s chips, soda, the market, etc. So, she has spent less time with them. Yeah, more alone time! This combined with having only enough to make it until I return has her a little bummed out I am certain.

On my side, I got home, tried to get slightly settled, got some rest and woke up at ten on Friday to be told my dad’s wife took ill and they left. So I was hurt. I later found that they did not leave and was happy, but she didn’t look well at all. We had pre-graduation dinner and later that night my dad called at 1:30AM to tell me they were going to the hospital and he was following an ambulance there. I had a house of kids and was still not recovered from my trip, so I asked him if he was alright being alone and he said yes. The next day I went there and found she was recovering from congestive heart failure and would be there for 3-4 days. That day, Jessica was graduating. Taylor didn’t know about Bella and found out after the ceremony and started to fall apart because she had dreamt something like this would happen and blamed herself for not stopping them.

Jessica graduated and left for camp with Taylor. I jumped into trying to manage the house, my work, get things ready for the kids when they get here, and take care of my father who truly needs it. He is hurt, frightened, and needs the security of him. He thinks he can get around notes and drawings, but detailed map quests are the only thing keeping him from ending up in the wrong city before he calls for help. Cecilia and Zachary are acting like they don’t know how to clean up their own messes and wonder why ‘the maid’ is not going to clean up after them. Zach has decided to leave chairs at every cabinet and leave them open because it’s too difficult to remember to put it away or close a door… it’s funny… take away tv, video games, and movies… they figure out how to do stuff again. Well, they messed up a few times in a major way, but grace is a great source of self control .

Okay, long story short: God is pounding Jen in a fire and building strength and increasing our bond to help her survive. She is getting some alone time that she needed, and the kids are learning that we are there for them… not for giving them stuff, even though they will receive.

I am learning of Gods faithfulness. He said that He will not give you more than you can bare… I do not think it’s temptation. I think it’s everything. I looked down the cooridore of time this week and said “I can’t make it Lord, help me!” He always just said “I have already provided for you” in my spirit, but nothing in the brain, mind, or body for the tasks at hand. I was tiered, fatigued, and there were 150% more tasks and requests than I could bear. I held to what I felt and would say, “if there is a way through this week Lord, it will be by you”. On Wednesday night the AC went out. It was still coming.

Friday, I did some work for Victor and blew off my work at the office, electing to take it with me instead… it has been killer hard, but I am here... tiered, the house is alright, and I am getting caught up on my work. God has my back, but He can only help me when I let Him. It’s all good.

Good news: Jens building strength, we are building new things in our relationship, the existing family is getting a stronger grip on their relationships and responsibilities, I am enjoying trust in very dark times, and my dads wife found several misdiagnosed medical conditions that she is getting help for now because she came.

The plots of the evil one are proving the Lord to be wiser and more able to seek victory. Now I need to break out of this coffee shop, get on a train, and sleep harder that I have in this entire adventure. See you tomorrow Elizabeth, and Matthew… I look forward to meeting you and receiving you as my son.

It’s good to be back! Viva La Beeze Gas (means carrying gas) guess you gotta come here to understand that.

The path for the boy… so far

As told earlier, we left a space for a child in our paperwork. I turned out that Elizabeth had no siblings and we chose to pursue this slot as a young boy. We made plans for such, and since I was brought to Elizabeth, I felt Jennifer would be brought to the son. She was searching through the resource information we had. We spoke to Victor and Jessica. The problems are that the child needs to not have siblings; otherwise we would need to go to court to break the family. There are ages we considered for a fit, etc. We had considered Vatalik the fit for weeks. We went with the intent that this will be a child that God had wants to have a home with us. It’s a fun and scary thing to throw yourself into the river of God like a leaf in a river to see what happens.

On the day we arrived at the orphanage, I was shocked when Elizabeth actually wanted to help us find a child rather than being jealous. I would have expected her to resent that we were not going to return with just her, but she did the opposite. It was great. We were surprised when she said that she didn’t want him as a brother. We found other things that excluded him as a choice. We then did a search of others available. Victor did everything else he could to find the child with us. After a few days and no boys, we agreed that we were making the choice to narrow and if it’s Gods choice, He must have control. So, boy or girl, whatever age He gives us. We considered 2 girls that might be available that Elizabeth would like. We considered them, but were not seeking them. We then found a boy that was that sounded right, but we should move quickly.

Victor scheduled an appointment for us to be as soon as he could. It was amazing that they said he may be able to get an appointment in 2 days if we go. We could get the appointment and referral before I go. We hoped on the train the Kiev, stayed a day in the apartment and waited. Victor tried to get us in at 1:00 and we could not, but did say that they would see us if we come back at 4:00. So we returned ready to go at 4:00. We waited for quite a while, and they called him in. He returned to tell us that they boy is now available for international adoption in one month. He then said “maybe you should quit now”… this to us means he sees that all hope is gone and we have exhausted our options.

We still have the appointment, we need to at least say that we cannot wait, and thank you. We went in, and told them our time limit. The lady handling the cases told us she might be able to help. She dug into her binders of tears in the book shelves. She found two boys. Victor translating the profiles and found that they would not be possible. So we returned them. I told Jennifer, maybe the two girls. She said, I don’t know… I said it would be better to ask now that regret later… the lady put the binder away and grabbed another… Victor said, you should stop now. He believes it is absolutely not going to happen. I looked at the lady who was frantically searching the pages with more passion than I could imagine. She said something, Victor said “she said, we have to do what we can to give another child happiness”, then he said “do you want to stop”, and I looked back at her and told him that I need to let her finish, she needs this.

She pulled out two profiles and said they might work. The first one made my heart light and my stomach tight. My heart said ‘this is it’. Victor looked at them and rejected the other one as before. I kept watching as he read the one I reacted to when he said, “I think this boy may be good” to us. We looked over it together and Victor read the details to us. He is a little older, but this is something I know will be Jennifer’s walk, and not mine. I told her that I am good and told her this may be our son. She agreed and we had Victor ask for the referral, which he did and the SDA representative looked as if one of her own children were just rescued. So the next day, we showed at 4:00 to get the referral.

Here is the situation: I am leaving for America the next day. I have granted Jennifer authority to petition the inspector, the child, and the SDA for use to be allowed to adopt this child without me present. So, she left on the overnight train to ask a child that she has never met if he would like to be part of a family that he knows nothing about. I am leaving Ukraine and was only able to call and verify that they have found the boy, he has a cast on his arm and Elizabeth likes him. There is a meeting at the inspectors’ office in 30 minutes.

With that, the aircraft is preparing to taxi and I must say goodbye, turn off my cell phone, and wait to see what God does sometime in the next 24 hours.

In an orphanage, in Ukraine, God is at work. In a home in Virginia, we are waiting to be blessed to serve Him in these children. As I return to the United States, my blogging now ends for a time. I look forward to reading the journals of my wife, who will tell me the story from a third the way around the world.

Time to get another referral

The mission trip was 9 months ago. We left America one week ago, we seen Elizabeth 3 days ago. Such a short time in the grand scale, and we need to leave already. To adopt a second child, we need a referral. We either go now, or wait until I return. Waiting will add far too much time to the journey, so we must go now. Today, we took a taxi to the orphanage, and will take one to the train station. We get a few hours, and then we must go. We were able to share gifts for the other children such as Dima and Tonya. We sat on the bench and looked at photos, and let Elizabeth take pictures.

I walked off and looked about the orphanage to see things I wanted to from before. I looked at the exhaust pipe for the kitchen we had built. What a shame… wish I were there to make them do it right. Then I thought that maybe they do not smoke in the places we use to catch them. So, I went to the two “hide outs” (more like known locations) and took photos of what I found… Americas best exported goods; Winston, New Kent, Salem, the entire gang was there. No, this is something that is the same.

It came time to leave, and my heart was torn of course. I know I am coming back, but, as we know… the obstacles are still there and the trials are still before us. So much could destroy what is so precious in our hands. So we left to catch our train. Victor has been so busy he has not been able to buy tickets. They were out of 2cnd class, and had 1st and third class only. We opted to get first class. Victor would not let us buy a ticket for him. He said he could go 3rd class or negotiate with the conductor to let him sleep in their compartment. They get extra money; he gets a place to ride. Nice, but we had him get a ticket in the cabin next to ours. Here’s the breakdown: 3rd class-6 beds/cabin, 70% chance of AC, 2nd class-4 beds/cabin, 80% chance of AC, 1st class-2 beds/cabin, 100% chance of AC. We couldn’t risk Victor sweltering in a 3rd class conductors compartment. He works to hard for us.

We talked and vented a few things that have been beating us up lately. I borrowed the modem from Victor and worked until about 1:30, then went to sleep. I love the train!

We have not spoken much of “the boy”, there is a reason… one that will be clear as time goes on. We are adopting Elizabeth because I felt God had called me to be her father, for use to provide her a home, and for God to become real in her life instead of a story, a book, or a fairy tale. I wish I could say it is because O decided I wanted a daughter, sought her out, decided she was the one and so we are on this adventure to bring her home. But it is not the case…

The path to adopt Elizabeth has been difficult and at times so stressful, painful, and impossible that we expected failure. We have had so much opposition that the fact that we even got on a plane is a true miracle. God has done as He always has… He made the path easy to walk when it is difficult and He provided light in the darkness. We did the work, made the calls, Jessica translated, and Victor intervened, but it has been hard. Faith is the vehicle that we rode here. It has been confirmed by Victor several times, some I have not blogged about yet. He has stood there with papers in hand, or walked out of a meeting, or hung up the phone to schedule and appointment. He has at least 4 times so far said “I don’t know how this has happened, it is a miracle”. He knows we are on a God walk here and he is sensitive to it. He knows that I feel the call for Elizabeth, and he has stood by our choices even though he once said that we should plan to give it up, that it may not work. The boy, he is another story…

When we set this up, we had to chose if we were getting Elizabeth, or others as well for the paperwork. We decided that our family could fit the addition of a young boy, or if she had siblings, we may need to adopt them as well, so we put 2 children in our paperwork. No plans, just for 2 children. A month before we left, we started to move forward preparing for a new 14 year old girl. But felt compelled to prepare for a boy also, so we, in faith, set up additional space with Zachary for a brother to share his room.

I will write more about the way God is moving for the boy in another entry, this is an amazing thing to watch. We can see Gods hands all over it, and this process has caused the word miracle to fall from Victors lips more than a few times.

For Dan or the next one to follow.

Okay, this is not a whiner post, this is a “If you’re gonna come over here, be ready, accept it, be thankful and be happy” post. There’s a lot of stuff that is going to challenge you if you expect to have everything normal like you are in a hotel in the US or something. These are the things that have challenged us to be able to maintain our loving, Christ-like composure on the trip so far. It’s always the LITTLE things that get ya. Some are Jet Lag, Internet, Cell Phones, Air Conditioning and refrigeration, Dishes, Laundry, Power adapters, and sleeping arrangements.

Jet Lag:
Normally, I rebound from it quickly. On this adventure it was difficult. One reason was we had some time where we were at the apartment just waiting. I realize not, that waiting any time before 2-4 pm gave our bodies a chance to go into deep rest or sleep mode extending the adjustment period. I would recommend Tylenol PM at 8PM and a few No-Doze in the morning with tea (unless you like instant coffee or want to walk 3 blocks to the café and get an espresso. Force your body into the routine and fight letting it keep Virginia time. If not, go to bed and get up 7 hours early in Virginia for a week before you leave for Ukraine.

Internet:
If you are in Kiev, the apartment we stayed in had a high speed cable modem. I was able to access the internet, open my VPN tunnel and work using my office computer in Williamsburg. No trouble. If you use the USB modem Victor has, you’ll get good service in Keiv and Zap, but on the train or other places, no promises. It cannot handle a VPN connection, and for some reason, shortly after the VPN tunnel is created, the modem disconnects. You may get 20-60 seconds of access. If you can do your tasks in that time, you are in, if not you’ll need a better source.

Solid internet that can acquire and hold for VPN can be found in the apartment in Kiev, Ask Victor ahead of time to have the owner secure the modem ahead of time. He removed it before our second visit. If not, in Kiev – good luck. There are internet hot spots just about everywhere, but finding one that’s free, or where you can get the password can be difficult. The one at McDonalds tried for 10 minutes at a stretch to connect, but nadda. In Zap, Coffee Life is great, but take some earplugs and headsets or the music will make your head explode if your there long.

If you use the modem card, you’ll lose service 10-15 minutes after you least major cities and it will not come back until you near a city again. Don’t plan on any internet on the train.

Cell Phones:
They are all the same – NOT! Just tell Victor you want a good one with good coverage. The one we got was good, but about 4 days after we got it, it lost the network, had sim card failures, etc. It worked, but not always, and we had to keep checking it so we knew Victor could contact us.

Air Conditioning and refrigeration:
Not to much to say. US rule of thumb: apx 1 Ton/500 square feet, Ukraine, more like 1500 square feet. Sweat is the name of the game! The refrigerator is good enough. I made jello, but don’t expect an icy cold glass of milk. Let some air out of the bottles, freeze your water, and keep it in either the freeze or refrigerator. It will melt when you take it with you, as you need it.

Dishes:
Small glasses, shallow bowls, if you want a big gulp size cup, bring it. Don’t plan on frying an egg, just go ahead and super-glue one to the pan.

Laundry:
The machines are small, best guess for controls, they’re worn off, in Russian, or don’t matter because the control system is broken. Ask Victor to show you the detergent for automatic washers and not hand washing as there is a difference. Be sure they got a good spin dry, and then hang them up. Ukraine has discovered that hanging clothes up will cause them to dry, foolish Americans use machines for this. This is also why there are irons in every apartment… you gotta iron out the clothesline creases.

Power adapters:
Bring enough, or bring a power strip. We had a strip, but if you don’t, you have chargers for laptops, cameras, MP3s, etc. You’ll want to charge them all at the same time at one time or another.

Sleeping arrangements:
Typically the living room has AC with a pull out (not comfy) couch or a sofa. If ya get hot, deal with the non-comfy couch/soafa or hush.

That’s about it. You’ll learn other stuff, like take off your shoes when you come in, don’t walk where you can see AC condensate puddles, street names are on the sides of buildings, etc. If you want something unique, try the lard balls or lard roll on bread down the street from the borsht house… mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Oh yeah, your kid will love dried or raw fish… it’s a shocker. Finally, if nothing else, learn the phonetics for the Russian alphabet. You’d be surprised how many things in Russian and Ukraine are exactly the same as English (ie БигМак= Big Mac).

Have fun!

Back to the orphanage to see about a son

It is starting to be a big blur…..Last night I (Jennifer) left Kiev, Ukraine with Victor to see Elizabeth (aka Alina) and to see a boy (if he is in the orphanage, the director isn’t sure where he is at the moment). At this point, I have seen a picture of him, cannot pronounce his name, but know he has no brothers or sisters. He is 10 years old. This is way out of my comfort zone guys!! A day ago, Terry and I thought we were finished with looking for a boy from orphanage #3, and would just be taking Elizabeth home with us, but the lady at the SDA continued to look in the files and found two possible boys. We narrowed it down to this one boy. So Victor and I took the 11-hour train ride to Zaporozhye where the orphanage is located. I said good-bye to Terry. Today he is flying to go back to the US because our oldest daughter is graduating from high school. Unfortunately I cannot be there. I will be missing the youngest daughter’s moving up to middle school ceremony also. So we got off the train, went to the apartment, took a nap and then went to the orphanage. When I got to the orphanage we went to the second floor and I asked where Elizabeth (aka Alina) was. She was changing clothes or something so Victor and I walked into the computer room. I was looking around the room (trying to appear casual and not nosy) and there was several boys playing computer games. I was in there several minutes and didn’t realize “the boy” was in the room!!!!! Boy do I feel silly and weird at the same time! So Victor introduces me to the boy. I might have said a few sentences about Terry being here for the mission’s trip last year and does he remember. I think he said he remembered the trip and Terry, but I am not real sure…it happened so fast. During this time, in walks Elizabeth. Victor tells him she is being adopted…do you want to go with them? And his eyes got big and he said “Da” (Yes)! He then asked Elizabeth if she liked him and she said “Da”! That is it! I left the room and he continued to play computer games for a while. Elizabeth and I sat on a couch with a bunch of her friends and she went through my laptop case. I wanted to be with both of them, but did not want to leave Elizabeth with my laptop, cell phone, cash and numerous other things. I did talk to him a few minutes, but then left to see the inspector at 2 pm. We came back with the inspector and waited for Ecaterina for about an hour. She was not at the orphanage when we arrived. This meeting was shorter than Elizabeth’s meeting. We discussed many things, but Keril (pronounced Key-real) Denisov said he would like to be our son. Pretty fast I would say! He has a cast on his right arm that should be coming off in 5-6 days or so. Apparently he was running with his arms out and hit his right arm on a building. Imagine that! He reminds me of Zack!!! Anyway, he is left handed like Taylor and I. The rest of the day was spent showing him pictures of the family, playing games on the laptop and just talking in Ecaterina’s office. I then took Elizabeth to the store for sodas so she would not feel left out. In the end, both of them walked Victor and I to the bus stop outside the orphanage and I snapped a picture of the two of them together. They were both smiling! It was a good day. Tomorrow is more running around.

The day Alina went away

I stayed up way late to post pics, enter the blog and get some work done for my office. This was the first time I really had a chance to do any work and I was dismayed to discover that when I VPN into work, the air-card drops after 5-30 seconds. Sometimes it holds for a few minutes, but that requires a celebration. So I am thinking I will need to work harder in Kiev and take time off without leave while I am back for the second effort.

So, this morning I got up, did a load of laundry, made some hard boiled eggs, and tea. Later, Marina came by to pick up some things and to meet with us for a few, but I was in a bit of a hurry and Victor got us moving. We went to the trolley stop and caught the trolley and then changed to a bus. Victor is teaching us how to get around and what it costs for when Jennifer is here alone. Tomorrow, we will follow Jennifer so I hope she doesn’t take us to Moscow.

We went to the orphanage and got hugs, etc for a while, played with the baby Koshka (kitten) and then we did some business. With Victor with us, we were able to ask how you feel, what are you thinking, etc on both sides and were able to verify on both sides that we are all still very happy to have each other. After all, interpreting squeals, squeaks, and hisses is a job for Doctor Doolittle. Then the important thing, the event that made us not able to be with Alina any more.

Victor, Jennifer, and I asked her if she liked the name “Leah”, she said no because it is too much like a Ukraine boys name. So we used our backup “Elizabeth”, and she loved it. Her middle name: “Jane”, also loved. She wanted to have a typical American name, and we wanted a traditionally Christian names, so we gave her both. I am so glad that we had the chance to ensure the name not only fit us, but that she enjoyed her new name. So we said, your name is going to be “Elizabeth Jane Steen”! She smiled, and said “DA”, paused, and then “YES”! A few minutes later is when we realized “Alina” was gone… We were talking about something… nothing special and I said “Alina… “, where she stopped me and said “NO ALINA! ELIZABETH!”, so we recoiled and agreed. The rest of the afternoon, if you said Alina, she just responded “ELIZABETH!”… I think she likes her name very much. She is assuming her new identity.

So, we gave her a shirt with Virginia on it and a shower kit like the one we gave her teacher. She enjoyed spraying everyone’s pits with deodorant and we discussed our day since tomorrow I leave and she’ll be without me for 2 weeks. It was decided to go to the store and go have a beach picnic with her and her best friend Dasha. So Victor turned over his passport to essentially sign her out and off we went to the store. This time it was the same old one from the mission trip. Elizabeth is just like Alina (imagine that), in that she eats everything that crosses her path with passion. She wanted chips, sausages, cheese, soda, candy, seeds, etc. We limited it somewhat, but not enough to prevent us from all eating well and leaving her and Dasha chips to eat while watching TV.

We left the store and went down to the river where Victor lit a fire (one of the cool things you can’t do in the states just anywhere) and roasted sausages while Elizabeth and Dasha jumped into everything. They prepped for the sausages by putting ketchup and tons of mayo on some bread. Dang they like mayo! There I found that she rather enjoys pickles, pickled mushrooms, and pickle juice. YES! She’s like me! Then I found that she also enjoys eating dried, salted minnows. She kept offering them to me, and I finally ate one. Not bad… very salty, and after you eat them, the fish flavor bursts in your mouth as the fish reconstitutes. The big drawback is that they are so salty. She offered a third, but I couldn’t touch another, so I waved her off on that. Within a few minutes, she polished off a bag about the size of a regular McDonalds fry. It’s kinda cute, but a little disturbing that when she is enjoying something, she does a little thing where almost every part of her teeth are coated and she makes a big smile at you so you can see whatever she is enjoying. It’s funny, but I will be happy when she learns that is not something to do in America.

So we took photos, played a bit, and other things like looking at pics on the computer and listening to music. Elizabeth caught a frog and we took its picture. Then, when she was done with it, we signaled to put it back and she tossed it about 15+ feet to the little stream that she found it in. We hope it survived. A little while later, Victor found a snake and we all went to see… I thought she was gonna try to catch it also. She’s fun! We relaxed a little and Elizabeth laid down in mamas lap and Jennifer braided her hair. I have seen her relaxed and docile before, but never like this. She’s looking forward to a mama. I guess all girls would who have gone without.

So eventually, her and Dasha got us and said something. Victor said “they are going swimming now”. They were both in shirts and shorts or pants. I asked Victor “With their cloths on?!”… Victor said, “No… they will take them off and swim naked”. “What! No way!”… I started towards the dock. I know I am supposed to let them “keep being the orphan” until after court, but I can’t let my daughter swim around like that… especially with these boys around. I stopped and asked Victor from about 20 feet away “Are you serious”, and he was just laughing… so I came back, got the camera and ran to get some photos. I looked at the dock, and decided I could only go so far and I was on my way there and they started yelling “NO!!!!” at me. What rejection! I just wanted to get some pics, so I went to where I was going to stop and they started yelling real load… so I called Victor on the cell phone so I could find out what was up. He came over and said that they are afraid that if you walk on the bridge it will collapse. I thought it was funny because that is why I didn’t walk on it last year. So we went back a little and I took photos of Elizabeth and Dasha. I asked Victor about if it would be good to have the missions team rebuild and improve the dock for them. I had been told that fishermen might take it over and the kids would not get to swim. He said that “this is not true, it would be very good for them”, so mission team, take notes. There are two docks here that could be worked on. The one the kids use most heads out about 35-40 feet, then has a 5’ wide platform. There are no ladders! They get back out of the water by walking up the dock to where they can get out, pull themselves up and roll over onto the dock. It would rock to rebuild the entire thing. A real gang plank to the dock the new dock that is little wider with two ladders on each end would rock. Many more will go swimming if we did this.

So, we went back and spent a little time with a few other kids before we left for the day. It was the best day ever… Lot’s of fun, lots of bonding. We are feeling the family forming. So yes, it was hard to say goodbye to Alina forever, but Elizabeth is so sweet, and is Alina all over, but in addition, she truly is part of our family. Thank you God for the deep love and the bonding that you are giving us, you are so good past we could ever imagine.

It was a great day!

In touch in Ukraine

This is Jennifer...I have been silent since we left Kiev because we have been using Victor's modem and internet connectivity has been touch and go. Between Victor and Terry using the modem for work, I don't get to blog much since we left Kiev. I can say I have finally adjusted to Ukraine time, love the country for the most part and I am having a great time! I am getting to know Alina and loving it! She is a very active girl to say the least! I see parts of her that each kid back home will like. She wears camoflauge pants like Zack, paints her nails like Cecilia, likes to have her picture taken like Taylor and likes to run around like Jessica. She will be a good fit. We are still pursuing a boy, but more on that later. It is in the works and God is good!

A day of fun and exhaustion!

The day started with phone alarms and windup clocks ringing at 6:30. We were expecting our cab at 7:00. We moved a little sluggishly, and Jennifer was dying for an extra 10 minutes. I was also, but I had a few Tylenol PMs and slept much sounder so I was able to get dressed and ready quicker. We got a call that the driver was on the way, so counted money, thought about what we needed, etc and out the door we went. Down stairs, we thought Vlad was going to take us to the orphanage, but instead, Ekatarina was already in the cab with her son Mark. So we jumped in and off to the town square were busses were dropping off kids. We parked and spent some time trying to figure out what was up at the park. It seems that the kids take the cross town buss to the square and charter busses pick them up from there to get to the water park.

Once all the kids were on the bus, we loaded into the taxi and attempted to warp space and time. I was used to not wearing a seat belt, etc in Ukraine. After all, here, you may actually be safer to be thrown clear. But this time Vlad pointed and ensured that I buckled up. That should have been a clue!

We went off into to country side as if we were trying to get to a hospital. I loved it… Jennifer… Nyet. Along the way, we got to know Mark and talk with Ekatarina and Vlad. We had lots of fun with translations and teaching us Russian. My favorite was my lesion on Kleb (жлеб) Because she tilted her head WAY back so I could see where her tongue was when she said Kleb, macking the ‘X’ and the ‘L’ sound at the same time. We discussed the Ukraine country side, Vlads driving excitement, and much more. Mark was an impressive 11 year old. He speaks Russian, but has basic Italian and English down real well. Don’t be afraid to talk to this guy. Ekatarina was very sweat… she said “Terry, you are a good man. Most people come hear and never learn of Ukraine, or speak with us. But you chatiyet (read), and ask Shto-eta ee Ruski (what is it in Russian) always. Most of it was in English, but it made me feel good knowing that she sees that I care about her, Alina, and the people. She’s awesome!

We stopped for (of all things) pizza about 2/3 the way there. It was real good! Made Pow-Wow look real bad. They also made crepes there (didn’t have any, but what an unexpected thing). We read signs and did some translating on Vlads hand held translator. He needs it because he works exclusively for Victor when he is in town and Victor brings him all these foreigners.

We got there and seen this huge Water Park, then we drove past and was challenged for tolls at a road. I didn’t know what was up and we paid the toll, drove down, got turned around and lost. Ekatarina got out and walk through a bunch of beach houses. Vlad said it was Africa and parked in the shade. Ekatarina came back and took us to a beach house to change. It was funny, she kept talling me to take off my pants, the blushed and covered her face. Then I realized… I am wearing and American swim suit. The ones in Ukraine are basic thongs… so I tugged at my suit and said, Nyet Ekatarina… American Plavi-oot suit. Made the little dive gestured and she got it. She did the same for Jennifer’s modest 1-piece, and Jennifer did the same. This would come back again later.

We then left in the cab, fought the toll guys again and got to the park. The kids were off the bus. We sped to be sure we could eat and check Ekatarina in to the beach house before the kids got there. We all went in, we were the only English speaking folks there, and got lost a few times in the crowd. There was all kinds of fanfair and commotion. This was one of those events Ukraine does for the orphans. They danced for them, told jokes, etc. They filmed EVERYTHING and made the kids day.

We watched Alina and her friends eat since we had already and we went swimming as soon as they were done. We felt the icy water and waited. I said I have to jump, or I cannot get in so I jumped in. When I came up, cold was a bit of a shock, but then I realized why the water was greenish… it was salty… it was fresh sea water pumped right from the sea next door. COOL! Splash splash…. Play play… hey, who would of thought all the kids would want to see me make cannon balls.

We played and went down a slide that she did, but stopped because the orphans were there and we didn’t want to get in the way. Alina laid on a cot, rolled over and squealed (yes, squealed) “Peat-zzzzzahhh!”. That I responded with dazed and confused reactions and then seen she was pointing at a pizza place on the other side of the lazy river. I said Nyet (she just ate!)… and she squealed louder…. So I said NYET Alina, no Pizza! Then she looked all pouty and said quietly “Pizza?” and I said “You want Pizza?” and she said “Dah, please… pizza?”. AWESOME! She can be tamed… so I said dah and we went over, but they were not serving and we looked other places and I bought some water for them, gave her a huge and said Spaseba PLEASE pizza, looked into her eyes and gave thumbs up to her. She smiled and hugged me. It was cool… Wish I could say there was no other such event, but, hey, Rome was not built in a day. I am looking forward to the journey ahead.

Later we ate with what was going to be Alina, but too many girls and I let her eat with her friends and Jennifer and I ate with Ekatarina and Mark. We had fun translating the food and passing off tomatoes that I don’t like and the meat that he didn’t like. COOL! This is fun. Mark is very smart. I am sure Ekatarina is quite proud of him.

We stood around hug’n and such while kids were photographed and they had a show. There was a boy that I noticed had scraped his elbow so I asked Jennifer if she still had the bandaids we brought in our fanny packs and we broke some out. I took out some hand sanitized… walked to the crowd where he was, knelt down, pointed to him and did the finger curl to call him to me. I checked his elbows and found the scrap. It was rough! So I put some sanitizer on my hands, looked at him and said OW! OW! OW! To let him know it was coming, then blew on it while he made faces, put the bandage on and gave him a bear hug. It was then that I realized I was central forum like I was doing a triple bypass with a q-tip, salad tongs, and a stapler… all these kids moved back and then rushed him like he had a golden bandage and they all had to see it. I realized, then, that they probably never get care for minor abrasions.

Later I seen him at the bus with one of the teachers looking at it with some kids. Ekatarina was there, I pointed and said “is that alright?”, she said it was, and seemed happy again. The kids were all standing for 10-15 minutes… and I seen they were trying to repair the engine on the bus… I mean, oil everywhere, and sledge hammering the thing to knock bad parts out. It was like real clear this thing was done. The kids had a few bottles of water and it’s a 3 hour ride for them, so I went across the street to a gas station to buy some banaqua and they didn’t sell anything to drink. It’s cool to go to a water park where they don’t have a gift shop or a retail store, but MAN we needed sun screen and bottled water.

So I came back and Ekatarina was looking for me so we could go. We drove to the beach house and I asked if I could get the kids water or soda and she said water, maybe soda… no juice, to much… uh…uh… “sucrose?”… DAH, sucrose. Okay, best things to give children, in order of value: water, soda, then juice. I may have flipped the last two but “in rome”.

So I got some of each. Jen and I took them to the teachers. Jen had the easy job of giving some to the teacher. I got to fight Alina off the bottle that she was claiming as my gift to her. I gave it to the teacher and gestured to Alina by pointing at her with both fingers, then open them up to point to everyone and she got it, nodded, and we hugged.

Okay, off to Zap again… long drive, bathroom fiasco, and we made it back in about 2-1/2 hours. What an adventure. We came in, spoke to Victor who had been working all day at the apartment and the orphanage. He seen Illiah, Dema, and some boys we were considering. Tomorrow we have some work to do and Sunday it’s off to Kiev! Does it ever stop? I hope not… that means were not getting anywhere.

I am beat, but, let me tell you about something. There is a girl from Maldovia that we met. We will be seeing her tomorrow. Our hearts are twisting… she’s an amazing 14 year old. We did not see her last year, but she’s been there for 2 years. We are seeking a boy right now, but if the winds change direction, she would be a real delight to have in any family. If anybody reading this blog would like to host her for the Christmas break, you would be so blessed. Her photo is on my FB page, but I will not give any more information unless you are serious, because she is precious, a real gem! Just dropping the line… it may not be there in a month if God takes us that direction though, because we are serious in considering her as Alina’s sister.

Okay, goodnight from Ukraine!
Терри Стеен

The day of “yes”…

We pulled into Zaporiziyah this morning at about 7:00. It was great! I love the train so much. There is nothing better than watching the countryside go by and feel that nostalgic click-clack of the rails and the jostling of the car.

We followed the plan almost to the letter, with changes as were needed today. We went to the apartment, unloaded, showered, shaved, etc such to look and smell like we had not ridden a train all night. We then had a chance to rest while Victor raced around town as is typical. He had many papers to gather and to schedule meetings. He truly is a very good man who works very hard for us. While he did this, we honored him by getting some additional rest. Are we respectful or what!

I will cover the day as best I can, but missing something is very easy!

We drove to the inspector’s office where she was waiting and prepared for our case. I wish we had known what to expect, but it played out well any way. She spoke with Victor reviewed our stack’o stuff, and then asked us how we met the child, why a Ukraine child, and what was the last day we seen each other. I fumbled at the end… “uh… 1st of Sept, end of August”, which was okay. I then remembered it was their first day of school! “Victor, it was their first day of school”, he verified it again with me and then told her it was “the day of knowledge”… we celebrated together that morning before our group left. I think this pleased her that we were there together.

Shack hands, talk talk talk… and with inspector in hand, we were WISKED AWAY to the orphanage. As we approached, I could feel the essence of last year. I could feel the children we met with and enjoyed… this was where we spent so many glorious hours together. We got out of the cab and I felt like I was home (yes, this is sappy--- I mean Terry writing today) when I heard “Terry!” and Coasta came over and hugged me. We we’re led in the back way because school is out, so only the back door is open now.

We went to Ekaterina’s office and waited for a family to finish business and leave. Then we got to go in. Ekatarina will always be special in my heart and mind. She cares for these children and loves them all. While trying to spread and show love on an individual basis to as many children as she has is impossible, she was excited and eager to discuss Alina with us. We all took our seats and the doctor and Alina were summoned to the office. The doctor entered, and behind her, an Alina that was 9 months older and still just as special as the day I left. My heart was torn when Ekatarina told her to get out because it was not time for her to be in the room yet. Alina made a “WAAAA!” kind of protest and left the room.

The inspector spoke and put the issue before us all: Ekatarina, Victor, Jennifer, the school doctor, and myself. Once done, Ekatarina asked for a medical report. The doctor had an analysis of her past year to include all of her visits to other doctors during the past flu season… she has a minor curve in her spine, but no other issues. The for the psychology report: She has issues from being in the institution, but noting great. Ekatarina took the controls personally and told Jennifer and I that Alina has behavior issues and she stutters when under pressure. But, if she has a home with a mother and a father where she is loved and they care about her, she should be fine because what she needs most is to be cared for individually.

They all discussed a few issues, topics, and points of order in Russian and asked if we had anything that we wanted to ask before she was let in the room so she would not hear. We said “no, nothing” with confidence as to say “no, she is our daughter without respect of the issues”. She nodded and buzzed for Alina to come back in. We waited and waited… it seems that these are the times that some people need to use the restroom because of the tension. Alina was one of them.

Finally she came back in the room… I worked over to great her with a hug, and then let her go to her seat directly across from me. I knew what was on the way, so I held on and watched. The inspector and director explained that we were there to petition for her adoption… “do you want to go with them, live in their home, and be their daughter?” “Da.” (what a lovely sound)… “You will leave and never come home… you will not see your friends here anymore…”, etc in scolding tones. It’s hard, but I wanted it to be so it was a clear choice. “Da...” with a pause as if to say “didn’t you hear me”. Then the BIG KNIFE came out, the one that could go deep into all our hearts came out. “Alina! You have a grandmother that you know, still see, and will leave behind. Does your grandmother know that you want to leave!” (this has been the issue that made her waffle so badly) “Da”, “do you still want to go with these people and not return...?” It was now like watching a movie that your heart is being torn by. I watched her eyes moving back and forth and her head turning as she looked at those speaking to her. She looked at the inspector and said “DA!”, then to Ekatarina and said (in Russian) “I know this, I want to go with Terry and Jennifer, (da)yes, I want to go!”

The interrogation ended. The inspector and the director shifted gears to go over the records to ensure that there are no issues to stop her from going with us. They found some issues that need followed up on and started to debate with Victor how to handle it. They busted out the code of Ukraine at the table and started looking for ensuring the adoption can go through the court system without failure or delay. I will not go into details, but I feel God is at our back like the winds on a tail sail ship. Victor is making contacts with lawyer to help and the inspector has taken a special interest in ensuring it moves through. We could not ask for more than this for support. It was great, some of the things they discussed were details and they would ask Alina questions and she was helping them figure out the solutions. One time she started reading the code of Ukraine so she could understand what they were talking about.

Finally, we were told to just go play… visit the market, etc while they all worked together. So, we went across the street to the market (not the one we went to on the missions trip) and walked the isles looking for things to buy. Alina didn’t ask for anything. She kept picking out stuff and asking if we wanted it. We settled on a several things, some just to make her happy and let her know we seen her looking out for us. We went into another store and bought some nail polish things, flip flops, Then back to the orphanage.

Victor came out a few moments later and let us know that we needed to go to the notary, so we flew across town. He and the notary created the documents he needed for the inspector, to petition the court, and to petition for our second child. It felt like an eternity, but we had the three documents and 1 copy of each notarized and back to the orphanage. We spent only a few minutes there and talked to some children, then off to the inspector’s office again. She reviewed the documents and did a bunch of signing and sealing with 2 other ladies, and then we went down to the chief of Zaporizyahs office and waited for an audience. Victor and the inspector found some details that need fixing, but nothing to stop us. And eventually we were asked into the chief’s office where a deputy chief was there to speak with us. She asked us very specific questions about where and when we met her, why does Jennifer want to adopt a child she just met, etc. I explained the mission trip and the love of a father I had for her and how I could not let her graduate without a family, etc. She talked for a while after we could tell she had made her decision and thanked us for opening our home and loving these children. I said that I thank God that he lets us, Jennifer stated her agreement in her own words, and she was very happy.

So now BACK! To the orphanage. We spent more time there and seen several more children. There are not many there today because many are visiting family and just staying in their rooms. I got to get some good hugs, squeezes, and thumb wars in and we were told that there would be no room on the bus tomorrow for us to go to the water park. The wind was taken out of my sails… I thought quickly that there must be a reason; it is not of God to take something away less there be a reason (Katina! Stop yelling Amen! All the time) Then we were told that the director and her child will follow the bus in a taxi and we were welcome to join her and split the fare (okay, we’ll pay the entire fare) and we said certainly.

We wrapped it up, hugs all around, climbed into our cab and went to Pow-Wow… I cannot believe it’s that place where we always ate pizza on the mission trip! Victor! He said, come inside, we’ll have some pizza…. I said no pizza please something unique to Ukraine and he did. It was great. Then we came back here where Jen and I slept for about 2-1/2 hours. I woke up, caught up on my email and facebook, now this blog. Jen just woke up, so I think I’ll snooze a bit until the morning.

So, tomorrow morning: It’s up at 0630 to go to a water park 90 minutes away in Berdansk (spelling) with Ekaterina and her son all the way there and back. We will enjoy Alina and look for a boy to bring home. Almost forgot, during the meeting, the director offered a girl for us instead of a boy. Alina said “Nyet, no Duiski! Malchik” Meaning no girls, a boy… she’s now helping us to find her new brother… isn’t that just sweet!

The days are a little blurry as we have had trouble adjusting to the time change being awake when we should be asleep, and asleep when we should be awake. Today (Wednesday) is getting close to being more stable with that respect. This is good, as we will be leaving on the overnight train tonight and if we don’t sleep well, tomorrow will not be a good day, and it should be our best.

This is the day that we are to receive our referral from the SDA so that we may travel to Zaporiziyah to meet with the inspector and Alina. We have been working all this time to get here at different levels. So much effort so far has been focused on getting the appointment because of all the papers and documents needed to obtain an appointment. Stamps, seals, records, etc… all that effort just to get the meeting we had yesterday. But, the meeting we had yesterday was so that we could obtain the referral, the key to being able to go see Alina and officially ask her to become our daughter. This, is why we came to Keiv, and this is what we are waiting for before we leave. Something this valuable, this important must surely be much more serious to receive than the meeting yesterday.

You might think so, but you’d be wrong. We spent the morning getting ready by cleaning the apartment, repacking our bags, and getting ready in general for getting the referral and jumping on the train. As is typical, we had a great plan that changed several times as Victor is working to juggle some things at home with his son, a situation with another friends package that will cause a delay, and our process. The man works hard and I wish he knew how much we appreciate what he is doing for us.

So, I spent a great deal of the afternoon scurrying about going from bank to bank trying to find ones that would take our ‘bad’ bills and exchange them for grievnas so we could fully vest our efforts. Eventually I came to a point where I felt I was there and returned to the packing. Victor came to the apartment with plenty of time to spare, so we sat and traded funds for about 45 minutes… so many dollars for the fee, use so many greivnas to get there and so many dollars for the train tickets… it was fun! We were passing back and forth blue, yellow, red, and green bills like crazy. I turned to Jennifer and asked, “you don’t have park place don’t you?”… I guess you’d have to see the stacks of colorful money to get that one.

Finally, the apartment manager showed up so we could turn it back over to him and we left. The three of us walked to the SDA talking about all sorts of things. Victor is not only our facilitator, but he is our planner, our guide, and our inside advisor on what Alina will be experiencing and needing from us. We arrived at the SDA, were several people were coming out and several more were waiting. We had expected to see somebody as before, but this big event was simply to wait in line, show our passports, and sign for the referral, then leave. It was kind of like checking out a library book or something.

So with the referral in hand, Victor having the train tickets, we were off to the train station and McDonalds! Me, I could do without McDonalds, I am on the other side of the world… could I not find something better than our nations gift to the world of burgers stamped out like so many small meals created on an assembly line. Oh well, once or twice will not hurt. The awesome part was getting to be someplace (besides the airport) that I knew! I seen the pizza place from last year’s trip and yearned inside so much to go to the roof and sit at the same tables and relive what had happened there just 9 months earlier. Instead, I went into McDonalds for a new adventure. We sat and talked about so many aspects of what we were about to do, from the how’s and when’s, to the time when we get home. Victor helped us with Russian a little and I mistakenly trusted him a little to far when I was trying to ask him the proper way to pronounce the phrase for “I purchase/buy ___”, Yak u-poo-piyat, an he had me say “Ya koo-koo”, told me that it was correct, and so I said it a few times confused trying to figure out how incorrect I had been before until I asked him, “that means I am koo-koo, what’s koo-koo?” then he had to start smiling and I realized he got me to say that I was crazy several times. Victor is fun!

So, through the beautiful train station… what an awesome entry port this building is. Amtrack should just drop it’s head in shame. We found our train, got on, settled in a bit, and after it started rolling we went to the window and just watched the country side roll by. Mile after mile (oh, sorry… kilometer after kilometer – these guys don’t use ancient metrics) of farm lands, forests, rivers, and villages all mixed together in a tapestry of beauty. Ukraine is such a lovely place. I would not hesitate to desire to come here just for the beauty of the land alone.

After night fell over the land and Victor took the chance to get some sleep ahead of my planned snore-fest, I prepared our bunks. Jennifer and I went in, took some Tylenol PMs to be sure to help set our bio-clocks, and we went to bed… well aside from the hour Sudoku she played that is. About 4:15, I woke to us rolling into a huge industrial town. Where I chose to start writing this for you. I will attempt to post it after we check into our apartment, but that may not happen. In either case, here is the game plan:
1. Check into the apartment.
2. Shower, change, and get out the door in 20 minutes.
3. Meet with the inspector.
4. Go to the orphanage and meet with the director.
5. Meet with Alina – our face to face encounter for her to be officially asked about the adoption.

It’s now 5:45 in the morning. We are to meet with her at 11:00. So, there are only about 5 more hours of waiting. Do I think this will go as planned? NO! Not because everything always changes, but because Alina has called Victor several times in the past few days asking when we would be there. A few times yesterday as a matter of fact. She knows we’re arriving about 11:00… so, there will most likely be a step 4.5: Get attack by a very sweet, girl who has been waiting for this day as long as we have.

Well, they just popped in to say we’ll be there in 30 minutes, so time to stop blogging and look as some more countryside before we get there.

Hanging Out in Kiev

Wow, I think we are still having a hard time adjusting to the local time. We are 7 hours ahead here and I want to sleep because my body says it is the early am hours (US) and it is like 10:30 am here. Then it is 2:30 am here and I want to be awake. I think about the time I am used to the routine...it will be time to come home. The couple across the hall left for the orphanage they were going to this am. They had heard horror stories about rowdy, drunk people on the train and decided to fly instead. I am not so worried. Well in case you don't know we are meeting with the SDA in a few hours to sign papers and then will get on a train to Zap. I am not sure when we will be able to blog again. We are using internet available here in the apartment, but don't know what to expect in the future. We expect to be coming back to Kiev for another referral Monday or Tuesday for the second child. We have a handful of boys in mind, but we are letting God select one for us. More on that later. We are in walking distance from the SDA and would like to be in this area again if possible.

Ukraine says YES

Today was a milestone in our process. It’s funny how we tend to talk about “our” adoption when we think and share with others. We do, but, we never define what we mean when we say “our” adoption. When we say “our”, it is all of our family to include our new child. It is like a wedding, it’s not the bride or the groom, but both. In addition, the entire family on both sides becomes one family through the new union. Or like with a birth, people say the “our” baby was born. It’s not their baby, but that of their family and all those who came before them such as grandparents, etc. The word is not an expression of possession or of the legal status of the petitioners, but of the family… all of us, including the child.

Today, we went to the SDA for the first time. We were actually running late because our phone had the incorrect local time. When we found out, we were stricken with fear. Fortunately we are close to the SDA and had been getting ready early when we were called by Julia who was going to take us into the SDA. We finished getting ready and took a brisk walk through the city to the simple door at the end of a building where we are permitted to enter. It is also the only government office I have seen that does not have a blue sign, but instead, it has a polished brass sign.

We called Julia who we actually walked past to get to the door and she joined us. We entered thinking that we would go to a waiting room, but instead, we waited at the bottom of a stair well. We were there for about 10 minutes wondering if they would call us in and eventually Julia called to see if they were still expecting us and somebody called for us to come up after another family left, it seemed that their appointment took longer than they expected. We were 5 minutes early and had been working on this for 7 months, so the few minutes didn’t bother us. We went upstairs, into an office space, and back into a smaller personal office of the physiologist.

At this time, it’s official questions time: Passports out, do you wish to adopt Alina Dudka? Then, to be sure, we are to review her file so we know what issues she has. We learned of all the things that brought her where she is and why she is available for adoption. We heard rumors, but we know for certain what the major events in her life have brought her. Every orphan will have a story. None will be without pain. We learned for sure the pain of Alina’s to include seeing her father’s death certificate. This is our daughter, and so, this is now our pain that we will give her comfort. We discussed her medical condition and her extended family. Once all this was finished, again they asked: do you wish to adopt Alina Dudka? The answer of course was yes. We had some other discussions that we will share at a later time. We were then told that we will have a referral drafted so that we could travel to see an inspector to see if she wishes to be adopted by us.

After the appointment, we stopped for a few minutes, because honestly, sappy held himself together very well as the most intimate details of our daughters life unfolded, felt her pain, and were told we could seek her out as our daughter. It was time for the sappy to burst out, and his wife enjoyed holding him for a few minutes where we were not in open view of the public.

In the wedding analogy, we had just gotten an answer from the bride’s father that yes, we could ask for her had. We may now seek to bring our families together.
We left to go change, eat, and continue with our day. We went looking for a restaurant suggested by Julia and eventually gave up. Future visitors should bring city maps with notes on where to find certain places because knowing a little Russian is not as helpful as you might think. We asked directions from a few people, and found that they speak Russian, Ukraine, and we asked directions from one family that ended up being from Brazil. That was funny because I was asking if they speak English and they said they don’t speak Russian! (hee hee) We did learn how to find the street signs, as they are only on poles at large intersections, elsewhere; they are on the walls of buildings.

We eventually settled on a Turkish looking restaurant, but it may have been Moroccan. It was pretty good… we were looking for Ukraine, but it was good. Jennifer got her tomatoes and cucumbers, and Terry got to discover a new food in this cool rope cheese, so we both got what we wanted.

Now, off to the market and then home. We have laundry to do and preparing for packing to get done. Tomorrow will be the beginning of a decathlon. We will check out of our apartment before noon, take our luggage to secure storage at the train station, then to the SDA for our referral. After the referral, we will eat, go to the train, and ride to Zaporizeyah. Once there, it’s to a new apartment, clean up, to the inspector, to the orphanage, and then its water park time. Because of our intense schedule, Victor will be working hard while we are having fun with Alina… please pray for him and his family.

We stopped at the big underground mall looking for Russian worship music or DVDs in Russian to watch at home with them. We found no worship music, but some good Disney movies in Russian to share at home. We watched the emperor’s new groove as we drifted off at nap time. It’s great for us to hear the Russian and see the subtitles… if you’re trying to learn Russian, it’s exciting to see what your learning in action and learn how to use the words properly.

It is an awesome thing to see that you are in the hand of God. He is doing more than just giving us one or two more children. As with the mission trip last year, reaching out with God’s love is an incredible responsibility and in no way do we have a right or privilege to consider these children ‘ours’, or that we are what they need and we are doing them a favor. It’s close to the opposite. God is letting us take on the responsibility of not only providing a home, food, and education to these children, but we must help them cope with their past and bring them before the Lord, teaching them of His ways, His desires for their lives, and of His love for them. Bringing them home and giving them things they were never able to have will only make them selfish and like most other Americans that do not see what God has given to them as an awesome gift. We are responsible for showing them their place in God’s plan, something most of us cannot even do for ourselves.
I pray that we seek His direction and will so that these children will not only have a home, but that they will grow to a full knowledge of Him and one day will be see Him as He is, as one of His children.

That may be a little spiritually thinking for many, but it is the real reason we are here. And as God is such an awesome father, He gives us all gifts as we seek His will… so yeah, we will enjoy the family, the fun, and the excitement and challenges… but, it has but one reason that we are here: to seek and fulfill His will.

Thank you Father!

In Kiev

Well we have been in Kiev for 24 hours now. We flew from Richmond at 10:30 am on June 5th and had an 8 hour layover in JFK airport which wasn’t too bad, but after we boarded the plane “Aerosvit” to fly to Ukraine we had an 1 1/2 to 2 hour delay on the tarmac for some unknown reason. Our plane left some time after 9 pm (local time) or so from JFK and we flew for 10-11 hours. It was pretty cool…there was this TV monitor that showed a little airplane on a map so we had a general idea what we were flying over at all times. I felt a little uneasy flying for such a long time (11 hours is a long time non stop) and knowing the pilot/s would be flying all night long. I am sure they get tired at night! What if they fall asleep at the wheel or in this case controls? Well God is good because at 5 am (EST) and 11 am local Ukraine time we landed safe and sound. Terry says he didn’t sleep much on the flight, but says I sleep a lot, but I didn’t feel well rested at all. It kind of felt like I lost time, gained time or time traveled? I am not sure which, but I really couldn’t tell you what today’s date is. This is how Kirk felt on Star Trek when he beamed himself to different planets and places I am sure about that.

Once we got to Kiev we paid the extra $50 per person to get through customs, which was worth it over all. We bumped into the Dalton family at baggage claims coming from Chesapeake, VA on a mission’s trip. I meant to get their number or address, but forgot too. I can’t remember what orphanage they were going to, but they had adopted 2-3 times from this country and knew Victor. The airport is just outside the main city of Kiev. I was very excited to be here and think this country is very beautiful. The buildings are very old. Not many people can really say they have been to Ukraine! How awesome and lucky we are! I usually am a good judge of character….and I liked Victor right away!! I think he is honest and I like that. We took a taxi to our apartment that is on the back part of a building. To get in you must have a 3 # pin to open the first door, then unlock a second door to a hall of three other apartments, then unlock the door to our apartment. It is very dark in the hallway until you get into the apartment. In the hallway and right across the hall is a couple from Georgia to adopt an 11 year old from another distant orphanage. I don’t remember where. It was kind of comical….Terry or Victor hit a couple of wrong buttons on the elevator and for a few minutes we got stuck in a dark elevator!!! I am still leery of that thing!! For starters it is hung by ropes, not cables and is not very big. It was a squeeze with Victor, Terry and myself in it! It looks like it was built in the 1930’s. Victor showed us around town. He took us to exchange American dollars to grivnas and then we went to the underground mall, got a prepaid cell phone and ate a late lunch. The food is good here. We had cabbage, eggplant and zucchini rolls, assorted salads with mayo and coke. It is a bit of a shock walking around with everyone talking a mile a minute and you don’t know what they are saying. We walked around town some more and Victor took us to the open market and showed us where the SDA is. Our appointment is tomorrow at 12 pm. Lastly, Victor took us to the food market/grocery store. It is really small…not like Food Lion or Farm Fresh at all. We have way more selections then they do. We got ourselves a few groceries to take back to the apartment. Victor helped us get some ham, milk not sour cream, water without seltzer and a few other items. We may go to a Ukraine “Starbucks” in a little while. Terry can remotely log into his office computer and is working right now.

Yesterday we were in the apartment talking with Victor about our plans and Alina called Victor on his cell phone to make sure we were here. On the 11th the orphanage is going to a water park and she would like us to go with her. Victor said he would be very busy with paperwork, but Terry and I would be available to go. I am glad I asked Terry if I should bring my swimsuit. Terry with twinkles in eyes said, “I didn’t know we’d come all this way to go to Water Country.” I am very excited to meet my daughter and can’t wait!

By the way, please pray for Victor’s son because he is sick. He will be going to the “big” hospital all day tomorrow having tests done on his kidneys. Some days he doesn’t use the bathroom and on others he goes all day long. I am sure Victor is worried about his son!

Getting Ready and Leaving

Well we are flying to JFK today and then to Ukraine. We have been very,very busy over the last several months. We had to rearrange all three of the girls' rooms to make room for Alina. That was a chore and a half!! She will be in a room with Taylor. Terry made bunkbeds for a queen and full sized mattress we already had (for Alina and Taylor) rather than buying new mattresses and a bunkbed. Terry is no carpenter by trade, but he did a really good job putting it together and staining the wood. He said one day while he was sitting at his desk at work out of the blue God gave him the plans for putting the wood together. It reminded me of Noah and the ark!!! We got three new dressers and two new desks/chairs. We found them on sale at Target. Although we had to put them together they seem like they will hold up. We looked at a lot of other particle board stuff at furniture stores for a lot money than we paid!! Terry had twin bunkbeds from when Jessica and Taylor were younger so we put those up in Zachary's room. We had to purchase a twin mattress/box springs. I think out of all of the kids, Zachary is the most excited!!! I am crossing my fingers and talking to God a lot. Zachary really, really wants a brother! He will be crushed if it isn't in God's will. I have sat and watched him grow up in a female dominate family....even the dog is a girl and yeah Terry is a dude too, but in the neighborhood over the years there hasn't been a lot of boys for him to play with. Zack is very sensitive and compassionate....heck he cries when he sees his sister cry....he would make an excellent brother for a little Ukraine boy!! Well Terry will be home and we are off to the airport!! Yeah!!! I love all you and thanks for the many thoughts and prayers!!!